How Can I Be Attractive?

I use to watch Popeye cartoons when I was younger and I always wondered, "What the heck made Olive Oyl so attractive?" She had no curves, what-so-ever (zip, nothing, nada, none!), she was way thin, and her singing was horrible. Yet she had two muscled men running, drooling after her and constantly trying to win her affections with all kinds of gifts and outtings. Maybe it was the way she clapsed her hands together near her ear and tiled her head in an adoring manner and said, "Ohhhh, Popeye!" It definitely wasn't what she wore!

It was the kind of thing that makes you wonder, "Why is That beautiful person with That ugly person!" I don't really like to use "ugly" in my conversations (I stick with the word "unattractive"), but you get what I'm saying.

As I got older, I began to see how "what is considered beautiful" can change. It moves on that path from negative to positive; and makes beauty to be in the eye of the beholder in two different ways: 1) Society defines what beauty is, and 2) Personality states what beauty is.

SOCIETY

Growing up in the 1970s and 80s, I was still in the age where dark skinned people (really dark skinned people) were considered ugly, and the lighter you were, the prettier you were. I was born in the generation, after the generation, who held a paper grocery bag up near a person's face in order to consider them for a spot in a faternity or sorority. I was consider "prettier" than my sister since I was much lighter and she was "tar color".

What was defined as beautiful back then, slowly change.

The model industry began to focus images on really, dark skinned models and were saying they were beautiful. For some, it was hard to adjust, but after a while, they began to see it that way: "Yes, s/he is beautiful!"

When I went to my 20-year High School Reunion, a man that my sister and I grew up with told my sister, "You know, you were always beautiful."

And her response was: "What?! Why didn't you tell me that in Elementary School!"

He simply smiled and walked away.



PERSONALITY

But back to Olive Oyl.

As an adult, I can see the appeal Popeye and Bluto had for Olive Oyl. It was her personality...and maybe her eyelashes too.  Though her singing was horrible, she sung with all her heart. She was strong-willed and she had confidence in herself--and a lot of it! Maybe they also liked how, uh, flexible, she was? Heh. Heh.

In her own way, Olive Oyl was pretty darn cute.

I saw Whoopie Goldberg in Jumpin' Jack Flash (1986), and in that film, I could see the romance, a wonderful appealing one, that came from the screen telling a story of love between two people during the early Instant Messaging stages. But a few years before that, she acted in The Color Purple (1985) where she was considered "ugly". It was her personality that changed her to be viewed as attractive (and in her personal life, she was also hooked up with my Vampire Crush Frank Langella at one time).  And with that personality, you can see, with eyes now changed and open, how cute her smile is with her rosy cheeks.

There's The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2009), Swedish version, where there's this girl played by Noomi Rapace, who isn't very attractive at all. She's almost like an Olive Oyl type--no curves, what-so-ever. But there's just something about her....

Confidence. Smart.

She portrays a female that draws men to want her (I'm talking about the positive ones in her life). And I'm hoping the U.S. can see how beautiful she is in the Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows (2011) film. I haven't seen it yet, but I hope she did good.

I think confidence and personality can make anyone attractive.

So, when you take a double-look and wonder, "How did she get HIM!" That's the reason why--confidence.

ANSWER

That question: How can I be attrative?  The answer is One of Two ways. 1) You could either wait the decades for society to change, and some actor or model breaks through that resembles you, and now society says it so, and you have that stamp of approval: BAM! You are now attractive! OR... 2) you can be yourself with confidence and wit and declare to the world that you already are.

I kinda like the latter.

It's what I like to write about. It's what I like to dream about. The underdog, the Cinderella, the novice, the overlooked, finally prevailing to be seen by EVERYONE!!

Keep improving through the darkness into the light.

Until Next time!