Monday, December 26, 2011

Happily Ever After? It Exists? Really? YES!!

Happily Ever After? What's That?

Yeah. A lot of people seem to think that this isn't an option for them.

Well, I believe that it's not really an option for those in a war zone, in completely poverty circumstances (as in going for days without food) and those who are enslaved, as in literally, forced into sex slavery or held somewhere where they can't physically escape.

If you're not in one of these types of exteme circumstances (which I believe you're not because you're reading a blog, which is a luxury in itself to have access to the internet and time to browse)...then you can achieve your Happily Ever After.

Do I believe in Happily Ever Afters? Heck yeah! I've always have, and most people do believe, or continue to wish at least; especially those who love Romance and/or the Rich and Famous, rather that be in films or novels or both. No matter the worse of times in one's life, there can be a Happily Ever After.

And YOU wouldn't be reading this if you didn't have some kind of little, tiny, hope inside you that happiness in life do exist. But where to find that happy ending? How do you find it?

Well, first of all, it takes a lot of DARN WORK! Yes, work. I know that's not what you want to hear, but it does. It's not like in fairy tales where it's just happens "over night" and it's not like films and novels where it's achieved within the hours or days that you finish reading and watching the story. But what it IS LIKE in fairy tales is that it's harsh and cruel in the beginning before ending with light.

And It Takes Years.

You heard me. Yep. Years. Years and years and years and some more years.

Doesn't sound very good, does it? In fact, that statement might just turn you off and stop you from reading anymore on this post; but it's the darn truth.

Years, I say. Y.E.A.R.S!

Am I rubbing that word in? YES! YEARS!!!! YeeeeeEEEEaaaaAAAAArrrrrRRRRRssssSSSS!!!!

Why am I rubbing it in? Because it has to stick in your mind that, that's how much work and step-by-step progress that's needed to achieve the Happily Ever After.

Who am I to give advice? Oh, just the average, common sense person who just simply believes and knows that goals can be reached because I've reached some of my personal goals, and I'm still working at more Ever Afters. Anyone can get their Happily Ever After with realistic steps. And these steps are basically the same, anywhere you go to look to find them.

So...here are the Seven (7) steps to get your happiness along with some specific examples.

1) Open Eyes Can See
Breathe and open your eyes. I say "breathe" because it helps you concentrate. Just one breath and Look at the negatives around you and point out what it is that's preventing you from getting your happiness. Can't finish anything you started? Why? Are men nothing but dogs? Why? Are you too ugly or fat? Why? Are you having an affair? Why? Are you angry all the time? Why? Does life always give you lemons? Why? Are you an outcaste? Why? Do people look down at you? Why? Are you keeping friends around that you really don't like? Why? Are you too desperate? Why? Are you not happy in your marriage. Why?  It's just too complicated? Why? Answer those questions. Find those answers. Research your life.

2) Acknowledge the Negative
Recognize the negatives, the weaknesses, the sorrows.
So, I don't have the money or the time to continue my education. I really enjoy that man/woman that's already married, but I really don't like that I can't spend every day with him/her. I lost someone very dear to me that can not be replaced. I've been cruel or used everyone around me, and I've burned too many bridges. I keep having sex too fast. I keep having to take care of EVERYTHING in the relationship: kids, bills, time--All of the responsibility is always on me. We don't talk, or go out, or have sex, or do anything together anymore. He/She cheats on me. I can never find someone. I always find the wrong person. I'm poor. I'm too dumb. I'm ugly. Everything just always goes WRONG!!! (*) Acknowledge that school just isn't for you, but become intelligent in what you want to do. Research and find the paths--grants, help, loans... do the Do-It-Yourself Project. No body believes you? Show them each step of your goal and show how you've completed them. SHOW them; don't TELL them. Telling is for those who "cry wolf" and you want to be believed. Show the goals that you've completed. (*) Single with multiple kids? You're not alone. You're steps will take longer, for sure. Acknowledge that fact, but KNOW that it will be accomplished with every baby step. (*) Acknowledge these things and accept them for what they are. And what they are, are obstacles that need to get out of the way and pushed aside.

3) Get rid of the negatives
Cleaning up house is one of the first steps to getting closer to happiness, and the hardest.
That affair doesn't give me the love I want 24/7...I always have to wait for it. Don't settle for a piece of cake, got a whole cake WITH the icing. Get Greedy! Let the small part go, and it WILL HURT, but it must be done. It was wrong/It felt right. Doesn't matter. If it's not completely satisfying you, or causes guilt, get rid of it. (*) Take the steps, one at a time by getting organized; making a time table; sleep at a later time, or get up early to complete the task; do your research and gain the knowledge for each step. Knowledge helps gain your strength. (*) Stop the diets and think of life changes--change one thing at a time--add stairs, add stepping while watching a movie, add dancing, replace sugar with honey, replace cookies with a favorite fruit, replace plates with salad plates,. One step at a time. (*) Believe that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Enhance your character by being positive like a motivational speaker; look at the part of you, you have heard people say is pretty and believe it's true; look at your wardrobe and wear a a shirt with pants or a skirt that you've never worn with it before--heck, mix up all your clothes! Research for a different hair style; smile more. (*) Cut off the "friends" who do not have your best interest at heart; the childhood friends who you only have the "past good times" with and no "now good times"; has this "friend' done anything FOR YOU lately? It will hurt. It will feel lonely. You will feel like a betrayer to this "friend". But it has to get done. (*) Apologize to those you have hurt; Stop apologizing to those you keep apologizing to; and in both cases, SHOW your sincerity by changing your personality and attitude. If it's money you owe a friend, make small donations of $5, $10, until you repay everything. If the person(s) do not want to accept your apology or commitment to make amends, acknowledge it and move on.(*) Are you being completed honest with your signifcant other? The deep, down, dirty truth of what you really want? Tell him/her how you feel. TELL HER! TELL HIM! Talk to them as if they are a complete stranger and have NO IDEA WHO YOU ARE. If there's been too many discussion already and he/she doesn't "want to hear it anymore" because there's been too many "cry wolf" episodes, then it's time to start making arrangements of changing yourself; can I continue to accept this for the rest of my life? Decide if you've Done Everything That You Can Do in the relationship and if it's all one-sided and your partner isn't making an effort; make steps to separate from the negative for a while to think things over. But DO NOT try to get into any other kind of relationship while this one still exist. That's the easy way out. A temporary sense of happiness. The hard part is going through the work of separating yourself from the negative. Don't want to be alone? What makes you SO SURE that you can not find some one else? Get rid of that thought. Believe there is someone for everyone--because there is!! (*) Are you doing EVERYTHING? Delegate work; let someone else do the task and agree, and accept, that the final work won't be perfect. Don't go back and correct it! Provide suggestions and leave it at that if it's not perfect. Ask for help. Say NO. Why not say no? What are the consequences? Will it kill you? Will someone retaliate? Then let that someone, or something go if it's chaining you to continue doing EVERYTHING. Will you loose your job? Start looking for another one before changing and saying No. Don't be afraid of change. Just go through the steps of looking for something else. You don't have to commit to it, just go through the process. Have kids? You need structure and organization more than other. Combine time of kids with your goal, if you can, and accept the lack of sleep to get what you need done if you can't combine time. It won't be forever. Look into Big Brother/Big Sister programs so that you can work on time to better yourself while you child is bettering him/herself with his/her Big. (*) Don't be so readily available. Other people aren't and they get their time to themselves, and you're jealous of that. Don't answer the work cell phone or check the work email or don't YES to the next thing someone wants you to do something for the family or for a friend. If you're always thinking, "Why can't so-and-so do it?" THEN SAY IT OUT LOUD? And make it a point that you are not available. It's going to hurt. They're going to get mad at you. You just might loose a friend. So what! They don't respect your time, which means they are NOT a friend and do not care about you! If something must be done, then it can wait until tomorrow? Is there consequences? YOU'RE HUMAN, NOT A MACHINE! Take care of the issue on ITS time, not on yours. IT'S ME TIME, BABE! ME TIME! (*) Accept the fact that the love one is not coming back and grieve. Grieving is not negative--take the time you need, and ignore those who say "you have to move on" and "it's time to get over it". What's negative is if you're not ready, and you're forced out of grieving when it's not the right time. That only makeS things worse. Separate from those who try to force you. If they love, they will be there when you've completed your grieving. You don't want to jump from one relationship to another because you have not healed completely. Going from one place to another just creates holes inside yourself and builds a bridge of insecurity and lack of self-worth.You won't know what you want. So, stop. And stay still. Wait just exactly where you are and open your eyes to the positives things around you. It will be hard with so many negative things and things that irritate you and anger you, but if you don't know what you want, you have to stay still to see it.

4) Pretend.
Yep. Pretend. Pretend what you want is already here. You heard that before, I'm sure. But what does that actually mean? Well, wanna be rich? Pretend you that you are with the income you already have, and mixing up how you wear your current clothes; that Cup of Noodles is the same as those fancy chinese restaurants, but better because you can add your own stuff to it. You have a TV? You're rich. You have a cell phone? You're rich! You have internet? You're rich! Can you go to the movies? You're rich! Luxuries are things that are more than food, simple clothes, and simple shelter. Luxuries are hair-dos, cars (yes CARS, because you can take the transit system if you don't have a car),movies and other outside entertainment like fast food restaurants--McDonalds. YES McDonalds..because really poor people have to cook cheap food and can't afford McDonalds; which makes your RICH. (*) Pretend you're popular by complimenting someone who is NOT popular of something that really is something worth speaking about. "That's a nice shirt." "Uh...thank you." "Yeah, I really like it." And walk away. Don't dwell. That short conversation will light up your day. Don't go back to that same stranger. Two weeks later, find something you like about someone else and compliment them, who isn't popular. "Nice earrings." "Thank you." "You're welcome." Walk away...unless that person wants to say more about their earrings, then LISTEN and SHOW INTEREST. Simple conversations like that will build up your own group of people, and create your own unique environment of popularity. (*) Pretend that special person will be with you in 1-2 years, right after you completed your personal tasks. They're just around the corner but you need to make sure you've lost this many pounds before you meet him/her. You have to make sure you've gotten over your shyness to speak to people before you meet him/her. You have to make this amount of money before he/she arrives. Pretend that these preparations on yourself is for him/her, just like preparing dinner for guests--they're not here yet, but you'll have everything ready when they are. (*) Pretend you're someone else when you say, "No". Pretend that THEY are your enemy and out to steal your pot of gold, and use up your time so you can't reach your rainbow. (*) Pretend that person in your life: that friend, spouse, lover, who is a negative aspect, is no longer in your life. Start pretending to live a life without that person. (*) Having an affair? Go on dates. And yes, none of the dates will be like him or like her and, yes,  they will only make you think of him/her more, but keep dating every weekend with a new person--the internet allows that. Keep dating, even though it seems like a waste of time and there's no one else who can measure up to him or her. You're pretending there will be someone else even BETTER (*) Pretend that you're a nun if you always jump into bed too early. Don't go to that car or that room--it's past curfew and you must be home for your hourly prayer or fasting. Don't continue to TEST yourself that you will Resist "this time". Accept the weakness and acknowledge you can not resist. You can't put a steak in front of a starving dog and expect it not to eat it?! Avoiding those situations IS your strength, NOT your weakness. (*) If you're a lone, make plans to go out and do something. The internet has lots of activities to meet up with people in your area. Pretend you're going to meet someone at the event and they had car trouble and couldn't make it. (*) Pretend that you're not overweight and you can walk for miles. Pretend that you're an athletic person. (*) Pretend that you're beautiful and smile; hum to yourself. (*) Even though you don't feel like yourself, keep pretending. But don't pretend that you're happy if you're grieving, at least not for a long period of time. Keep the pretense where it's necessary and grieve in private if need be. (*) Pretending is a powerful thing. It's our imaginations that bring things to light.

5) Get Busy
Study and gain knowledge. Do things that will take up time. Doing things will fill you up and make you more complete and ready for the happiness that is coming. (*) Poor? Read books, magazines, blogs, websites. (*) Rich? Volunteer your time. (*) No time? Get better organized. Drop things to make room. (*) No talent? Volunteer or do tempt jobs and learn something you've never known about before. (*) Our bodies were made to MOVE, so get moving! (*) Can't move? Mentally move. Read. Talk. Type. Listen. (*) Get busy working towards that goal. And celebrate even the smallest achievement like putting that $1 dollar away in your bank. That's $1 dollar more than before.

6) Tools
Music is always something to help with the Spirit of Mankind. It envokes strength. Use it. Dance to it. (*) You're reading this? The Internet is a great tool--your best friend. Search and research places, people and things. And get to it!

7) Still not getting anywhere?
The BUT excuses. Acknowledge that they're there. There are things that will stop you. So take tinier steps. A big bill just came up? Okay. Fine. Just make sure to put at least $5 a side for your dream. Just $5 whenever you can. Or stop buying the "wants"...in fact, don't buy anything else but food and diapers if you're in that part of your life. Everything else, find another way. Find Free entertainment for outside events. Ignore the teenager tantrum--they won't remember what they wanted 10 years from now anyway. Teach yourself how to do your next new hair-do, nails style, how to run a business (*) Appreciate what you have and you will get what you want. Look at what you do have. Don't keep up with the Joneses. Exclaim that you don't have "this" right now, but you'll get it in the future...even if it takes 10 years of your life.(*) Setbacks are a time to go back to organization and preparation. Go back to acknowledging the negatives, learning what you need and pretending. Knowledge is the best strength to overcome the feeling of weakness and to overcome strong emotions. Think through the pain, the desires and you'll achieve your goal. How can I get better? What can I do? Where do I need to go? Who can help me? What can help me? How can I do this first step...again? Let me go do this, or that, or the other...just this one step. I can get this done!

Finale
Is there a Happily Ever After? Sure there is. But there is ALWAYS Night Before Day. You just need the thought to believe while in the darkness, surrounded by the negative. And you do believe, because you're here reading this. And if you're reading, and researching, then you're one step closer to your goal. It's the steps, the baby steps, the years of growth, that builds the bridge, that Light to Happiness.

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Eye Candy VS Mental Candy

So, I have list of actors that I like to watch and who gets my blood pumping!
There's the Eye Candy lot and there's the Mental Candy lot.

Eye Candy is definitely obvious--it's the physical realm of things that says their HOT.

Being that I'm somewhat of a nerd, I also have Mental Candy, where I find certain actors just, "mentally stimulating," which makes them...you know...SIZZLING.

I note below those films that got me heart and mental struck!

Here's my list!


Eye Candy Mental Candy
Vin Diesel (Pitch Black 2000) Robert Downey, Jr. (Heart and Souls 1993)
Gary Robert Dourdan Anthony Hopkins
Djimon Diaw Hounsou Christopher Walken
Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje Nicolas Cage (Valley Girl 1983)
Chiwetel Ejiofor (Serenity 2005) Johnny Depp
Frank Langella (Dracula 1979) Michael C. Hall (Dexter 2006 - now)


Then there's that list of: "Whoa! You Go Girl!"

Thandie Newton (Introduced from Flirting 1991)
Gina Torres (Cleopatra 2525)
N’Bushe Wright (Fresh 1994 and Blade 1998)
Scarlett Johansson
Salma Hayek (From Dusk til Dawn 1996)
Jennifer Tilly
Juliette Lewis (Iron Man 2 2011)

Just wanted to share that. Don't know why. Just do. But mind you, I don't remember names of ...well...anything, so I had to do a lot of research to find the names of these actors and actresses based on the movie I enjoyed. I don't keep track of them, but when I see them on the BIG SCREEN, it's like Christmas! A Surprise Present.

What's your list?

Saturday, December 3, 2011

I Don't Want To Pay For Commercials!!


Okay, so I want to rant about money. Back in the day, CABLE, was something that you paid for to watch movies. So, yes, you paid a fee to get to see movies, and more of them, at a cheaper rate than going to the theaters themselves.

THERE WERE NO COMMERCIALS!!

Then, slowly these Cable Companies started adding advertisement. First, it was just ONE, and it was TWO, and now it's almost like regular daytime TV!

Needless to say, I no longer have cable, and haven't had it for three (3) years now.

I don't mind having to watch Commercials for things that are free. I mean, those networks have to pay for the amount of work they put into their art and to keep doing what they do. I don't mind the Commercials in places like Hulu either or at the network's own webpages. Heck...they're FREE.

But I'll be D&%#m if I'm going to pay for Commercials for something I have to pay a monthly fee for. So you Netflix, Xbox, Satellite Radio...all you companies that are offering streaming and I have to PAY something to watch the content.... If you start putting COMMERCIALS on them ALONG with me paying you...?!!! AM CUTTING YOU OFF!

I'll start giving an complete "understanding eye" for those pirates who, in their own way, combat the price gauging and corporate greed.

'nough said. I'm done.  Going to go eat my double-stuff, oreo cookies now. Yum. All better now

Saturday, November 19, 2011

NaNoWriMo 2011 - I Won't Reach My Goal...But That's OK :)

So..... I'm participating in NaNoWriMo.  If you haven't heard of it, the challenge is to write 50,000 words by 11:59:59 November 30.
That's 1,667 words a day.

I've participated in NaNoWriMo for the following years:
2002
2003
2004
2005
2010

I've made it to 50,000 for all the years except 2010. Once I knew I could actually do it, I just stopped. It just didn't have that Umph and excitement for me anymore. Then I didn't participate because I KNEW I wouldn't reach my goal at all.

But one of my critique group friends told me to just participate anyway and WRITE. You don't have to reach the ultimate goal. The point is just to WRITE. So, that's what I've decided to do in 2010. Just WRITE and not worry to much that I failed to meet the 50,000 words at the end of the month, and I couldn't get the Winner! badge to post on my websites :( . I've decided to do it again this year, 2011, and this year I feel even better at my decision to just participate for the idea of it.

NaNoWriMo keeps me motivated to write more each day. It helps remind me what I SHOULD be doing with my writing. And I love that idea!

Until Next Time!

Thursday, November 10, 2011

What's Fiverr?

Okay, sometimes I stumble upon things on the internet while searching for something else. And I saw an app on the side of an author's page that had this Fiverr thing on it.

What the heck is a Fiverr?

Being me, I went to check it out. And it was pretty entertaining! There's these people on there that will do almost  anything for Fiver dollars! Well, they really just get Four dollars and the site keeps a dollar, but the whole idea is Five dollars,and you pay with PayPal.

I then saw something that would interest me, thought about it for a day, and figured, "What the heck! It's only Fiver dollars" and this guy was also offering giving my money back if I didn't like what he was offering. His name on Fiverr is jerrylittlemars, and, I had to say, the information he stated about getting more views on YouTube was worth my little ole Five dollars.

There was some other interesting things that I thought was worth Five dollars as well, but when I clicked, it was Per Hour, or they mention some OTHER price for what they do and the Five dollars if just for consultation. I don't think that's right, nor the point, of the site...but oh well. The ones actually offering something for exactly Five dollars, I would pay more attention to.

It was a fun site and gave me some ideas on where I would want to go if I want some things extra for the future, like audio bites.

Until Next Time! :)

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Tastes Are A Peculiar Thing

My tastes of what I like are really slim and really vast. For instance, I like plain desserts. Just give me a white or marble or yellow cake with butter-cream icing. That's it. That's what I like for a dessert. And Candy? Just give me some Mike and Ikes (which I'm absolutely addicted to!), or Brach Jelly Beans or Double-Stuff Oreo Cookies or a delicious Honey Bun--lightly glazed. Well, cookies and Honey Buns aren't candy...but you get what I mean.

But then there's music... which, sometimes, even I don't know what I would get into.

I subscribe to a fellow author (David Gaughran) who was talking about Kickstarter. I ran into Kickstarter reading some other author's blog about how he was using Kickstarter to fund for his Dungeon and Dragon games (Jeff Gupton). Don't ask me how I found him. I run all over the place on the internet and run into sites. You know how it goes with surfing. But back to tastes....

So David Gaughran mentioned this artist and I took a look at her story on how she and her band mates raised enough money, and then some, to do their music tour in the United States using Kickstarter. Then I visited her website and got intrigued with her music. Warning: It's a bit "risque"...well...very risque. She's fun and hits some sensitive subjects like her Missed Me song in the Dresden Dolls Album. And her funny song about Lady Gaga being an artist or not, was what made me then go find out what she actually sings about. I just hit play on the first song on the The Dresden Dolls album (I picked that one since it had the name of one of the Science Fiction TV Series I enjoyed--The Dresden Files) and I sat there listening to it as I type this blog.

Amanda Palmer is one of those artists that people admire--a Free Spirited person that people are drawn to because they wish they could be that comfortable with themselves. One of those true artist types that are rugged and spirited and intelligent and fun! The ones whose light burn out quickly if they're not careful. Hopefully she'll be like Madonna and keep on burning.

After listening to her, I went on YouTube to watch my favorite video, at this moment of time, Hot Wings from the movie Rio (2011).

Tastes...I tell ya. They're scattered all over the place!

Until Next Time.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Instructions Help with Life!

In Middle School, I learned about reading instructions from an exercise a teacher handed out to calls. The exercise had like over 100 questions, and the first thing it said was to read everything before beginning. I didn't read that part, or at least didn't pay much attention to it, and went heads-on to completing the assignment.  There was a grade, you see, for passing the exercise and completing it before the time was over.

I then began wondering why a few other people had finished their exercise and was playing around. The questions were getting hard and harder, and taking me time to solve them. How did this people finish it so fast? I began feeling very stupid.

Time was up! And I barely finished answering the questions. Then the teacher told us how she had stated to "Follow Instructions Carefully," and pointed something out to us.

Somewhere on the 3rd statement of the instructions, before the 100 questions, was for you to only write your name and ignore the rest of the questions. I just saw the questions and went at it!

And I wasted time and energy with frustration because of that.

That was a BIG learning lesson for me about instructions.
And that is the basis for most achievements I see.

Knowing the Rules.

Back when I did contests, and every contest while growing up after that teacher's exercise, I LIVED for those who didn't follow the rules. It just increase my chances for being in the finalist group.

And people not reading instructions is increasing. There's just so much more to read these days with more PCs in the household and the internet.

For equipment I purchase to use, I read instructions, but for Terms of Service on facebook, twitter, free email...well.... I mean, I just got a pop-up on my cell phone on something changing on Words for Friends and to ACCEPT the terms after reading them...didn't do it. I just clicked ACCEPT. All those TERMS just read like blah blah blah to me.

However, 15 years ago, I would use the HELP menu for Microsoft Office applications and then when problems came up, I would show people how to get things done. Someone ask me, "Are you Microsoft Certified or something?" I had to laugh. "Nope, I just read the instructions," I told him. That got me moving up the ladder...just because I read instructions. I make it a point to read the HELP menu. If it wasn't for that, I couldn't do most of the software stuff I do today.

Following instructions...I don't think people realize how it really helps you out in life to get ahead.

It's really helped me :)

Friday, September 16, 2011

Thinking...hmmmm

Sometimes you come across some things that make you go....hmmmm. And these RSA Animate definitely do that for me. If you have 11 minutes (per video) take a look at what could joggle your mind.

Motivations

I really like this about the surprising truth about what motivates us. It makes you really thing about things...


Changing Education Paradigms
I also like this one about the education system and wonder WHY something hasn't changed yet. Some things just move so, so slow.



Thanks for stopping bye!

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Let's talk about sex!

Quoting Salt 'N' Pepper

Let's talk about sex, baby
Let's talk about you and me
Let's talk about all the good things
And the bad things that may be
Let's talk about sex

....

Let's talk about sex for now to the people at home or in the crowd
It keeps coming up anyhow....



Yes, it keeps coming up anyhow.

Growing up, some people wondered why sex was such a driving factor in young people's lives...especially under 13 years of age. "Maybe she/he was sexually abused...?" they wonder.

Nope.

"How did he/she know about this so young?"

Doesn't everyone?

One of my favorite quotes is from the Science Fiction TV Series, Farscape

CHIANA: “So…why are all the little girls wearing all those clothes?”
BOBBY: “Because they see it on the TV, and in all the magazines.”
CHIANA: “But "somebody" sold them the clothes…so "somebody" wants them to have sex!”


We are exposed to sex early. We even teach our 2 and 3 year olds about "Good touches" and "Bad touches". We do this to protect them, so they learn the proper ethics in society--that's a part of society.

Sex has many faces:
authority over another, survival of the fittest, accumulation of wealth, personal connection, binding relationships, Hell and Purgatory, spiritual enlightenment, pleasure/honey of the flesh, a rite of passage, symbols of a country, a nation, a land...art.

And it's all a part of society.

To match the definitions of the above list, is this list:

Phallic symbols/Phallic amulets (Rome, Pompeii)
Romeo and Juliet (Hmm...at 13 yrs...at least Juliet was...a different time, I know)
Geisha/Concubine/Courtesan
Chocolate
The Oldest Profession
Greek Roman Fertility Rituals
Marilyn Monroe
Lambada
The Birth of Venus/The Sleeping Venus
Kama Sutra
The size of feet


Sex is right up there with violence (see Embarrassed about watching Hentai?)...and it's ALL AROUND US.

The Bad Side of Sex

Bad things happen. We make bad decision. We do things because of it. All and all, if you survive, and name and face what it is, you will become empowered.

I, for one, need to fight in my own way...writing.

Quills (2000)
If I wasn't such a bad woman on the page, I couldn't be such a good woman in life.

That's a funny quote. I love it! LOL!

In my stories, characters are taken advantage of--it's in the grey area where it's not detrimental to one's life, where they don't go into depression and/or have nightmares everlasting. The physical act thrust upon them (no pun intended) becomes a stain on their lives. From that, they form a path, a path of power. And I hope that readers can see that from my writing.

I use sex a lot. It's a tool to bring more emotion out of the story, as well as something fun that I like to write about. I don't consider the scenes to be too much like erotica, but more like romantica--something between erotic and romance--an erotic romance--Romantica!

I quote Daisy Harris
Erotica describes an individual’s journey in the context of sexual encounters, and erotic romance describes two or more people’s journey in the context of a sexual relationship.

Is Romantica someone's fantasy? For some. But, it's also someone's way of life, someone's past, someone's future, someone's decision, someone's fear, someone's hatred, someone's goal, someone's power.

And all of it pertains to sex.

The Good Side of Sex

There's more things in life besides sex? Sure there is. You can say the same thing about eating, money, and surviving. Sex is just one of many aspects of life....that has a big piece of the pie ;)

In film, it becomes a part of the fun, like in Porky's (1982) and Sex and the City (TV Series 1998 until 2004 and Films 2008 and 2010). We have Danielle Steel. We have all those powerful women in the "profession" who counselled great men. We have the statue of David. We have each other (wouldn't be here if the egg didn't meet that sperm...or is it the other way around). It's enjoyable. It's beautiful. It's love.

All In All

You don't have to read it, or watch it, or write it...just like violence, you can try to avoid it as much as possible, but somehow, someway, sometime, someday, it's gonna come at your door--within an inch or a mile. It's in our lives. It created us.

You can either rule it or have it rule over you.

I don't know about you, but I when I'm backed into a corner, I show my fangs!


Until Next Time!

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Authors Do Read Your Reviews

If you're wondering if Authors read your comments and reviews of their books, the answer is YES!  I'm not sure of Authors who have thousands of fans, but for those who can not make a complete living with just writing books, being connected to the Readers is important.

They most likely will not comment on negative reviews, however, because those who do, it usually just ends up in a mess. Even stating something like, "I'm sorry you didn't enjoy the book" comes out wrong. It's just best to let people have their own opinions. One can not please everyone. So, basically, you just have to think that the novel just wasn't for that person. Now emails...emails Authors can comment and send replies on, but not negative ones.

You ever want to hear what Authors talk about on forums? Take a look at KindleBoards.com. There is the Writer's Cafe forum where Authors who have published on Kindle talk and talk and talk. They also hang out at the NookBoards.com and AbsoluteWrite.com, as well as other places. You might not find those Big Name Authors, but you just might find a few that you enjoy reading, or even find a book you wouldn't normally read by looking at their signatures.

What do Authors Talk about?
Mostly about how to reach more Readers and what they're writing about currently, and what they wrote next on their blogs, and their next big promotion and Book Reviews and Book Giveaways, and how they really, really, really, really need to get back to writing their books LOL!

The forums are a fun place to hang out. Maybe I'll see you there sometime.

Later! :)

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Venery!

According to Wikipedia
Venery can refer to the following:
The practice or sport of hunting game animals, or the wild animals so hunted.
The practice or pursuit of sexual pleasure, or the indulgence of sexual desire.

In my novel, The Made, that word is a combination of both of those definitions. It was a fun word to find and research, and it also helped me develop the novel around this definition.

Venery!


The Made is the first novel of a series of novels that totals four (4) books. Each novel reads independently, meaning, they don't have a "to be continued" type of thing (I hate those), but they are all related to the same world and same story.

The Made is my first baby--the first novel that I toiled and sweated over for years to get just right. I didn't mean for it to be as large as it was, but that's how it came out. And being that I have complete control over my creative expression, I can keep this length, which I really like. It tells a complete story as well as satisfies a long relationship between readers and characters.

The characters and scenes and...uh... sex, is all combined to flow with the story. I use sex a lot. It's a tool to bring more emotion out of the story, as well as something fun that I like to write about. I don't consider the scenes to be too much like erotica, but more like romantica--something between erotic and romance--an erotic romance--Romantica!.

I quote Daisy Harris
Erotica describes an individual’s journey in the context of sexual encounters, and erotic romance describes two or more people’s journey in the context of a sexual relationship.

I enjoy maps and I always wanted to have maps in my books. Thus, the Made has a map that I drew myself. Though several of my other books do not have maps, some will have something in them to reference the story, such as The 9th Symbol, which has a chart.

If you have any questions about my books, just give me a shout. I'm at deana@zhollis.com